Archive | March, 2012

Milton, Here We Come!

29 Mar

hello blog, it feels like ages since i last wrote.

so many things have happened since my last blog post. i’m finally adjusting to my new work and i actually really enjoy working. my baby girl is growing well and throwing tantrums more fiercely than ever and having a mind of her own. she only does things her way, only when she wants to. sigh…

and big news. we finally bought a house and we are really happy with our new home.

house prices are crazy these days and finding a nice house within our budget hasn’t been an easy process.

we wanted to buy a house in mississauga but with our budget, it was going to be a townhouse or rundown semi-detached home. so we ended up looking into milton and we found a great detached house that we really liked. milton is about 20 minutes away from mississauga and even closer to my current job so it worked out well.

this home was definitely meant-to-be and yes, it’s everything i’ve dreamed of! we saw the house at 7:30 pm and we put in our offer at 10 pm on the same day. they had multiple offers so we ended up going over our budget but regardless, i think the house is worth every penny. we are very thankful. it’s less than 2 years old, mattamy built and there aren’t too many things i want to fix but we still need to put up a fence and finish the basement once the house settles in.

milton is a growing community and it’s filled with new homes. the neighbourhood is quite interesting, like nothing i’ve ever seen. i’ve told my husband that our neighbourhood reminds me of pleasantville. ūüôā there is also a new elementary school nearby and i can totally picture our family settling in and living there for a long time. i’m also looking forward to reconnecting with my old friends who also live in milton and hanging out with their kids. my daughter has recently become very social, she loves hanging out with kids around her age or a bit older, so i’m looking forward to seeing her making new friends.

and bad news…

perhaps working overtime and on weekends have taken a toll on me… i’m sick again.

i’ve got the flu plus an infection. i’ve never been this sick in my entire life! i went to see a doctor yesterday and she put me on antiviral (tamiflu) and antibiotics (biaxin). it actually got worse today, coughing up bloody phlegm. i ended going to the ER and was injected with an IV and had some weird orange drink. after many hours, i was sent home. the ER was full of people who have the same type of flu. i could see the hospital staff getting very stressed out with the amount of people flooding into the ER. one of the nurses who does the registration yelled at me while taking my vitals. she told me not to fake my symptoms and that it was not going get me to see the doctor any sooner. i couldn’t believe that she was actually yelling at me in front of everyone and accusing me! i was very upset and wanted to sue her. i plan to write a formal complaint letter to the hospital. thankfully, the ER doctor was very nice and professional. he ordered appropriate tests and made sure that i was taken care of.

i’ve been working on the weekends because i have 6 big projects that are due in a month or so. all the work i’ve done over the weekend didn’t really help, now that i’ve missed 2 days of work! i’m so behind and i feel stressed even thinking about work. sigh…

this year has been a roller coaster ride… constantly sick. however, i’m so thankful for this year, which has brought a new job, a new house… and a cute and healthy daughter, who never fails to bring smiles to my face every single day.

i have one wish… i hope and pray that i don’t become sick again… at least for this year!

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Finding The Perfect Man and House…

10 Mar

for the past month, our family’s been sick every single day. my husband got sick for a week, then my daughter for the week after and then it was my turn. then my husband got sick again… this cycle continued on for about a month now!

this week was my turn and my left ear was completely plugged, along with my sinuses. not fun at all! i detest taking medication but it was my only relief, especially from my mentally exhausting job that i do everyday.

thank god for my mom and us being in such close proximity to her! i don’t think i would have survived without my mom’s help!

today, we planned to go visit my in-laws, which is about 45 mins away. my mother in law is leaving to korea to attend a wedding there, so we wanted to spend some time with her before she left. i ended up not going because i was pretty much bedridden all day. my husband took our daughter there all by himself and spent the whole day there! i was so proud of them, especially my husband. i know it wasn’t easy for him because he conked out by 8:30pm! ūüôā my husband’s hard work paid off as it allowed me to have some much needed rest!

on the way home, my husband checked out some houses in burlington, ontario.

yes, we are looking for a house. we’ve been searching for a dream house for several months now.

one of the reasons why we live where we live now, is because of the close proximity to my mom’s house. we live in the same building as my mom. she lives on the 5th floor and we live on the 7th floor and i absolutely love it! we each have our own homes, so it’s not too close but still close enough. we go over to my mom’s place to have dinner at times or vice versa. it’s so convenient, especially with a baby. when i’m busy, my mom comes up to watch her for an hour or so and i don’t have to pack and drive every morning to drop off my daughter before leaving for work. i absolutely love it!

i’ve never lived very far from my mom…. obviously, i’m still pretty attached to my mom. although it’s my idea and hope to live in burlington, i’m scared to actually do it.

however, i really want to live in my dream house… i have this mental picture of a perfect house, but i know we can’t afford it. regardless of affordability, i’m still hoping to find a house that’s somewhat close to my dream house.

to find a good house at a good price has been hard work! i’ve decided that burlington was a dream city/neighbourhood. i don’t know what it is exactly, but i love that place. it’s a bit rural, yet still in the city. it’s not too far or too close to toronto. however, it’s a bit far from my mom’s house, which is in mississauga. plus, my husband and i both work in mississauga… it almost seems like living in mississauga is more of a practical and reasonable decision. so, we’ve been looking at both cities – mississauga and burlington.

looking for a house is a part time job. on top of working 8 hours a day, cooking, cleaning, taking care of a child and studying… i wish i had another me to share my workload. that would be so wonderful…

being sick and all, i started to get tired of looking for a house. the hardest part is the disappointment that you feel after seeing a house in person. how different it is from my mental picture of a perfect house and thinking… this is never going to happen. today, i actually thought about this house hunting process and thought it was very similar to finding a husband or the dream guy. you feel like it’s never going to happen, especially after many failed dates/set-ups… then the perfect one comes along when least expected and you feel like it’s too good to be true! and you have to be patient through the whole thing and stay positive. you see others with their perfect mate and feel like when is it ever going to happen to you? but when it does… you are so thankful that you waited…

i don’t know if i’m correct in saying this (since i haven’t found the perfect house yet) but i’m still hoping for it. i’m not settling for less and i’m willing to wait a long time until i find the one!

hopefully, this will happen soon!

Daycare vs Homecare

4 Mar

one of the biggest hinderances to my decision in returning back to work was child care. ¬†who will take care of my child, while i’m at work? ¬†i’m very lucky and thankful that i had an option to have my parents take full-time care of our little girl, which made my decision much easier.

it was an answer to my prayer. ¬†being able to have a job, my daughter being taken care by someone who loves her as much as i do and also to help my parents financially, which i’ve been wanting to do for quite a long time. ¬†if all of these points didn’t work out, i would have been a stay-at-home mom, whether i liked it or not.

although my child care option was going to be grandma’s home care, my husband and i still contemplated daycare/montessori/nursery school options. ¬†one of my husband’s close friends referred a great nursery school that his mother-in-law works at and also sends his son to. ¬†we were pleased that it was a nursery school where they have programs to teach kids different development skills,¬†and not just a daycare,. ¬†we visited this place and we liked it.

we considered this nursery school because we wanted our daughter to develop social, language and other skills. ¬†however, since our girl doesn’t do so well in a new environment and with new people, we didn’t really want to make her go there. ¬†they did have part-time options, so we considered it, but the school highly recommended a full-time option because with the part-time option, we would not see much improvement.

my husband and i gathered all the information and started to research and brainstorm to see which option was best for our daughter.

i read some of the studies done by different early educationists on the effects of daycare (centres) on child development. different research found one consistent result. ¬†they found that the children who attended daycare were much more advanced in language, reading, writing and mathematical skills than children who stayed home with a family member or nanny. ¬†however, they also discovered that the earlier a child goes to daycare and the longer hours they stayed in the daycare, the more social/behavioural problems they found later when the kids went to school. ¬†they did find that the academic advancement and behaviour problems averaged out by grade six and there weren’t many differences between these children. ¬†(sources:¬†http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/01/national/01child.html?pagewanted=all,¬†http://www.familyfacts.org/briefs/43/the-effects-of-day-care-on-the-social-emotional-development-of-children, etc)

i believe that every parent/family has different parenting goals and values.  no one can judge or tell a parent how to raise their kids.  for us, even before our daughter was born, we agreed that we would put a higher value in character, morals and happiness over intelligence or academics.  in another words, we want to discipline our child to become a good-hearted, honest, responsible and happy person, rather than disciplining her to become a lawyer or doctor or scholar.  if becoming a scholar makes her happy, we will support her in that, but our hope is not to influence her to focus only on academics.

so with these sorts of goals and values we hold, we decided to have my parents take care of our girl full-time.  as much as we want our daughter to grow (well) in her development (which nursery school would definitely help with), we thought she needed love and care, more than anything else.

now that it’s been 3 weeks, are we happy with our decision?

there is always good and bad. ¬†i don’t think there is a perfect situation.

the good; she is loved and cared for… probably more than what she needs. ūüôā ¬†she’s been sick for a couple of days and i was very relieved that she was in good hands. ¬†i knew my mom would take care of her well and i didn’t need to take days off work. ¬†there are countless good things… i can’t write them all!

the bad; she’s gotten very spoiled and has become much more whiny. ¬†my mom picks her up as soon as she cries and makes sure that she gets her wish. ¬†by friday night, my daughter doesn’t feel like my own daughter anymore, because she’s become so spoiled and undisciplined. ¬†i try to be firm and discipline her during the weekend and by sunday, she’s gotten much better and i feel like she’s back to her old self. ¬†however, next friday rolls around and it’s back to square one. ¬†the inconsistency worries me since consistency is the key to discipline. ¬†however, i think my daughter has learned some consistency in that she knows that she can get her way with the grandparents, but not with mom and dad.

before i returned to work, we took our daughter to the nursery school for a couple of hours for a tour and during this time, the principal/owner lady taught/conditioned my daughter on how to sign for ‘more’, as in i want ‘more’ food. ¬†it took 2 tries and my girl learned ‘more’ right away and she continues to use it everyday. ¬†even now, she doesn’t have much vocabulary that she can speak, but one of the words she knows is ‘more’ (sounds more like ‘mow’).

seeing such rapid learning, i wondered if my decision to have her at home was the best option for my daughter. ¬†perhaps, she will reach her full potential if she was put into a nursery school… i don’t know.

for now, i’m happy with our decision and i’m thankful that i can have peace of mind while i’m at work. ¬†i never really worried about my daughter’s development, maybe more so because she was fast at everything, but in any case, i hardly push her. ¬†i want her to take her time to grow and develop. ¬†i was a late bloomer. ¬†i didn’t know how to add until i was in grade 3 or 4 and i turned out fine. ¬†i ended up excelling in math and in science, so i know that my daughter will be just fine too.

and i really don’t think in the future, she will challenge my decision to not put her into nursery school… so, it’s all good.

maybe when she turns two and shows interest, we might consider putting her into a nursery school for a half day… but… i really don’t mind having her at home until she goes to JK.