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11 Dec

my exams are done and i have officially completed two of my TESL courses!

i am so happy.

i can now spend as much time as i want with my little princess, miss ej and i can finally finish reading my book, ‘sacred parenting,’ that i started to read from months ago.  i can’t wait!!

i also had the best examination experience today.  teachers should learn from my exam invigilator/full-time grade 7 teacher.  before i started the exam, she made me feel relaxed, comfortable… assured me that i will do fine.  she was organized, accommodating.  she offered 5 different pens (i guess in case they run out?), offered different types of drinks, fruits, and yummy snacks.  the exam room (invigilator’s house) was bright, warm, beautifully staged and decorated with the prettiest and trendiest furniture and christmas decorations… which were mostly created/modified by her!

this individual always inspires me, every time i see her and speak to her.  no wonder she’s a great teacher, mentor and friend to so many people.  she possesses many talents and abilities that are worth bragging about yet, she is so humble and unpretentious.  she is one of my favourite people and i absolutely adore her.

today was the first time i’ve been away from miss ej for a long period of time (11 hours).  apparently, she had looked for me all day by checking each room a thousand times to see if i was there.  at times, she stood in front of the bathroom, thinking that i would come out soon.  apparently, she was sad all day and cried a lot.  i think she missed me more, because she was sick.  she needed my comfort and i feel awful that i wasn’t there for her.

today was also my husband’s company’s christmas dinner.  it started at 6 p.m. and i finished my exams at 7 p.m., arrived home at 7:20 p.m. so we didn’t  end up going.  again, i felt awful that he missed this event because of me and i regret not texting him during my exam to tell him to go without me.  my apologies to mr. jq’s bosses…

overall, the exam wasn’t too bad.  it was difficult, but at least, i knew the answers to all of the questions.  does it mean i did well?  probably not, because i’m not sure if i was able to explain my knowledge clearly and succinctly.  i’m glad it’s over and i’ll be happy with any mark, as long as it’s a passing mark.

it’s been a long day.  i’m finally going to get my well-deserved sleep!


I Wish I Was 34 Going On 14….

8 Dec

it’s funny how bad things happen all at once, usually at the worst time…

so, i have one and a half days left until my finals.

i came down with a cold or flu about a week ago, which progressed to bronchitis. i’m on antibiotics and a puffer.

and now… my dearest miss ej is sick with the same cold or flu and she’s in quite a bit of pain. she wakes up throughout her sleep due to her nasty cough, which sounds very painful. she hasn’t got a solid nap or night sleep for a whole day now and she’s not her usual self.

it’s the worst, watching your kid suffer and the worst part is, i know how painful this cold/flu is!

so… i’ve been living on power naps. 1 hour here and 1 hour there… whenever i can, i nap.

obviously, my studies have not been productive at all and i’m really thinking that i might fail my two exams. i don’t think i’ve ever been this unprepared! i have 1 and a half days left to review but i have no energy to do anything. today was one of the toughest days with miss ej because she didn’t want to be away from me, not even for a second. i guess the only comfort she finds is her mommy and i feel horrible that she can’t have other forms of relief, other than baby tylenol. sometimes, i’m really tempted to offer her my cough medicine! so, all i can do is pray and be there for her.

last night, i stayed up until 2 a.m. to finish my readings. miss ej was up from 3 a.m., not being able to fall asleep again. at 7:20 a.m., i prepared miss ej’s breakfast and lunch as well as other chores. fed miss ej, took her out for a ride so that she could fall asleep before her gym class, which was at 11 a.m. at 12 noon, we came home and fed miss ej her lunch. i also tried to have my first meal, but miss ej cried and wanted to be held, so i inhaled 2 big bites and cleaned up real quickly, while holding her with one arm. miss ej’s fever went up a bit and after a dose of baby tylenol, she finally took her nap which consisted of waking up every 5 minutes or so. i tried to call her doctor but every time i picked up the phone, miss ej was real upset and when i managed to call, no one answered. so i called my husband to get hold of our doc, but i called at the wrong time and he denied my request.

we don’t have a good thermometer, so it was really hard to gauge how sick miss ej really was. it’s little late, but i thought getting a good thermometer was what i needed to do. i called my mom, asked her to babysit. meanwhile, i called 20 times to my doc and finally got through. i made an appointment for 8 a.m. tomorrow. i quickly went to costco to get the thermometer, medicine (that’s running out) and shopped for our dinner tonight.

quickly drove home, just in time to feed miss ej’s dinner. quickly prepped. asked my husband to feed her while i quickly organized everything, made a decent dinner for my husband, who worked hard all day.

i got a quick breather when my husband bathed miss ej and got her ready for bed. i went to bed with miss ej with her bottle. she refused to drink and after a long time of fussing, crying…. she finally fell asleep. i took a quick power nap… maybe half an hour. miss ej continued to wake up due to her cough. i sat there for awhile, watching her… thinking maybe i should take her to the urgent care. luckily, she has no fever.

i come out of the bedroom and i see my husband lost in the wonderful world of www. the house is a mess. it’s like a tornado passed by our house. i quickly clean as much as i can and as i sit down, i feel upset and defeated. upset because i’m really behind with my studies and all i want is some time to prepare for my exams. defeated because although i feel like i did a million things, i got nothing accomplished, well so it seems. and as i cough and clear up my congested chest…. i realized that i’m sick also.

days like today, i wish was a kid again. all i would have to worry about is my studies, school, friends, hair, zits and maybe a little about my future. i miss those days when i had some time to just chill and be bored… i would love to sit on the sofa and stare at the wall, thinking i’m so bored. no, i just want 2 more hours added to my day.

i never thought, being a grown up, especially being a mom and wife would require so much work.

i was going to study and not write this post but i’m glad that i have this space to write, so that i could take half an hour for myself. i think this is good for my sanity.

my duties(?) have not ended yet. i’m going to go to my husband, hug him, maybe watch a fast forward version of x-factor with him, talk briefly about our days and when he goes to sleep, i will devote my 100% to my studies.

at 2 a.m. my day will finally end and begin a new day an hour later (at least until miss ej gets better).

i can’t wait until this week is over.

just like the movies, it would be awesome, if i was 14 years old when i wake up. if that happened… the first thing i would do is… go back to sleep and sleep as long as i want!

Let me introduce…

25 Nov

my family.

my husband, mr. jq. is a gentle, loving and good hearted person that i adore (most of the time). he is also the funniest guy i know. one of his greatest characteristics is his sense of humour. he’s pretty silly and corny but i guarantee, he will make you laugh. he works in the i.t. industry, currently as an i.t. recruiter. he has a weird obsession to know about every thing/topic. he will surf and research on the web for hours, even days and acquire unnecessary information, news about anything. however, as a by product, he’s one of the first people to know about the best deals and sales in town.

we got hitched 3.5 years ago. we met at church while i was overseeing that particular church. we eventually hooked up and it all began when he invited me to his birthday dinner. the rest is history… 🙂

my first and only daughter, miss ej. she was born late 2010, the year of the tiger (specifically the white tiger, which comes once every 100 years). her personality matches her year; she is fierce, strong and persistent. she will not back down until she gets what she wants, but more than anything, she loves to laugh, play and is a very affectionate child. she not only has a big personality, but she is also physically very tall (and big, but not fat!). she is currently 11 months old, but fits into 18 month old clothes perfectly. the last time i checked, she is in the 95th percentile in height and 50th percentile in weight. because she is so big, her development has been fast as well. she babbled, crawled and walked earlier than most babies. and currently, she walks well, holding our hands, and all she wants to do is walk, walk, walk.

i will admit, parenting is one of the hardest things i’ve done and taking care of a baby wasn’t easy at first, but my husband and i matured and became more patient and loving through her. the joy and love she brings to us is greater than anything we’ve experienced. we would not trade it for anything else.

my child, before miss ej, was my dog, miss r. she is a 5 lb maltese, good in nature, but very needy. ever since our daughter was born, she hasn’t been getting much attention and became even more needy.

then me…

i was born in 1977 in south korea, unlike my husband who was born in 1979, in ontario, canada. i came to canada in 1988, not knowing a word of english, but i managed to learn. 🙂

i got married at age 31, never thinking i would actually ever get married. i wanted to have a child on my own with a sperm donor, which almost caused my mum a heart attack.

i had various careers, met amazing people along the way, but some, not so amazing.

a couple of years ago, i found that i have a condition called a portal vein aneurysm which i might blog about in the future. it’s a very rare condition and just like any aneurysm, the vein could ‘pop’ in any minute and could be fatal but i’m not the type to live in fear. this condition motivates me to live every day as though it is my last day on this earth.

i’m currently on maternity leave (one month left!), studying part-time to become a certified ESL teacher. taking care of a baby full time and studying part time has been somewhat difficult but i secretly enjoy being able to use my brain and engaging in intellectual matters, not just poopy diapers and drool.

i hope to finish my studies by the end of next summer and at around this time next year, i hope to be working part-time.

i love to cook, especially for miss ej. i’m keen about making nutritious meals, yet making them taste good, like really good! 🙂 i think through the canadian food guide and make sure that my dishes have the right amount of protein, carbs, veggies and fruits. i’m proud to say, miss ej has been doing well, especially with iron and protein intakes, which are essential for babies around her age. it’s so interesting how babies will eat or not eat the same kind of food, depending on how you prepare it. miss ej hates avocados, although i’ve given it to her since she was 5 months old. however, i mix it with her rice and some veggies and then, she loves it!

so, i’ll end my post with the dish that i prepared for dinner tonight. i was rushed and made it in 10 minutes, since miss ej was in a bad mood due to fatigue and teething…

it’s a korean dish called jeayookbokguem (with tofu). a dish that goes well with korean traditional rice wine called ‘so-ju’.

oh… miss ej had tuna&veggie congee (i didn’t have a chance to take a picture).