Tag Archives: career

My Favourite Things…

20 Jan

today, i had a chance to look at some of the pictures that i took in the past month or so.  looking back at these pictures, it reminded of me some of my favourite moments with my family.

here are some;

i love seeing father and daughter play together.  it’s such a special relationship and it warms my heart to see them together.  seeing them play, laugh and have fun is one of my favourite things.

            

like many women out there, i’m also a fan of shoes.  i adore shoes.  for myself and also for my daughter.  i have a whole collection of shoes for my daughter and for most of them, she only wore them once or twice but they are too cute.  my husband thinks i buy way too many shoes for our daughter, but i really can’t resist…  they are one of my favourites!

          

spending quality time with my husband, eating yummy food with some bubbly is one of my favourites.  ok, we don’t eat or drink like this all the time.  this was from our new year’s eve celebration.

last, but not least… my daughter and her long, curly eye lashes.  she has the longest and curled-up lashes i’ve ever seen and i don’t know where she got them from!  anyways, it’s definitely one of my favourite things…

speaking of favourites, my daughter also has some of her own favourites.

                     

before she turned one, she just loved going through tunnels.  not so much anymore.  she also likes this mini trampoline and she still does.  she’s very active and anything that gets her going… are her favourite things (thus far).

                      

my daughter is obsessed with letters and books.  every so often, she gets up in the middle of the night and requests that i read her some books.  she will grab a book and bring it to me and start flipping pages in the dark, at 3 a.m.  i think she has a bit of an obsessive personality… when she likes something, that’s all she does, all day long.  the second picture shows one of her favourite toys.  she becomes obsessed with closing these pop up animals.  she has to make sure that everything is closed, otherwise, she can’t move on.  it’s kinda cute now, but probably not so much, if she continues to be like this.

             

i guess this is both my daughter’s and my favourite thing – hanging out at indigo bookstore.  miss ej has lots of fun playing with different toys and i get to have my starbucks and shop around.  win-win.

ok, i almost forgot to put my hubby’s favourites.  he’s a simple guy, so he doesn’t have too many favourites, but here are a few;                

yes, it is in order… first, ufc.  second, nba.  third, macbook air (and steve jobs).  miss ej must get her obsessiveness from her dad, because my husband can spend many hours watching or utilizing these things.  these are his all time favourites.

however, i have to admit.  i know that these two people in the below picture trump everything.  as much as my husband loves jesus, he loves us just as much.  my daughter and i are so thankful and very lucky to have him as husband and dad.

btw… an update (from my past post).

so i ended up applying to a position at a highly reputable company.  i got a call the next morning.  i had a phone interview on the same day, in the afternoon.  an in person interview occurred the day after, at 8:30 a.m.  i had three sets of gruelling interviews with 6 different people, in a span of 2 hours.  i ended up getting an offer at the end of my interview.  this was the fastest offer i’ve ever received.  i still have not made my decision, more so because this happened unexpectedly and way too fast.  i have not had much time to think or pray about it.  i usually take a long time (months) to make a decision, especially an important one such as this…  at this point, i’m not leaning to any decision and i can definitely go either way.  i’ll be praying and seeking god’s direction over the weekend and plan to talk it over with the family.  currently, i’m excited for a new opportunity and to be working again, yet, feel guilty to leave my daughter behind.  if i do go back to work, my comfort is that my mom will be taking care of my daughter and she doesn’t have to be left at a daycare all day long.  however, i do want to stay with her and watch her grow.  i think by early next week, i will have some answers.  to be continued…

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Sacred Parenting…

15 Jan

kids are so wonderful. they bring so much joy and warmth to our hearts. they are so innocent, affectionate and amazingly adorable to look at and to hold. i love the way they smell, even their sweat smells much more sweeter than us, adults.

but having your own kid is quite different from occasional babysitting.  it requires a great amount of patience and sacrifice.  in the book, ‘sacred parenting’, the author mentions how we, as parents often have kids for narcissistic reasons.  it’s like marriage.  we have a romanticized view of what marriage is like, but in reality, it’s far from the what we ever imagined it to be.  in the same way, we might have kids to feel that we can be a hero to our kids or to obtain a sense that our kids would validate us as a man or woman.  although these motivations, as noble as they may sound, are still narcissistic at root, based on an idealized notion of children and a romanticized view of what family life is really like. (paraphrased from sacred parenting by gary thomas)

one of my friends wanted to have a kid for a long time, a couple of years or so.  she finally got pregnant and when the awful pregnancy symptoms kicked in with full force, she was unhappy and said, how come no one told me how difficult this was!  i told her i understand her pain.  i wanted to warn her that it gets even worse when the kid comes out, but i bit my tongue because i didn’t want to scare her.

i don’t blame this friend.  i felt similar way when i was pregnant.  i knew i was in for a rough ride once morning sickness kicked in with the body pain, headache, backache, fatigue, breathing difficulties, bloating, heaviness… and the list goes on.  i remember feeling that i wished someone could carry my baby, just for one day, so that i can get some rest.

then there is labour.  i don’t think i need elaborate on this…

and when the baby arrives, there are sleepless nights, growth spurts, teething, feeding issues, sleeping issues, spitting up, hours of crying (without particular reason) and illness.

of course, pregnancy, birth and parenting do bring good things, but i write these things to explain what it’s like… i mean, really like, to have a child of your own.  it is my hope that every mom-to-be understands and expects that there will be hard days, more often than good days, and really questions themselves, if they are ready to sacrifice their life for their child.  why do i care?  because, my own mother was not ready to have a child when she had me.  it was a tough time for my mom and due to many difficulties in her personal life, i was left to live with my grandma.  i grew up not really having a mom around, and even when i came back to live with my parents, my mom was still not around.  it gets pretty lonely and sad when you are left home alone.  probably the worst feeling for a child.  my mom thought i will eventually understand why she had to do the things that she did, but in all honesty, i don’t really understand.  i would never do what she did.  she’s a wonderful mom now, but her neglect in the past did affect me in many ways.  that is why i strongly feel that a parent should only have a child when they are mature and ready.  ready, in a way that you are willing to sacrifice your own life for your child.  isn’t sacrifice a mother’s instinct?  doesn’t it come naturally?  i would like to think that it does come naturally, but in reality, i don’t think it does for everyone.

a close friend of mine is studying to become a doctor.  she just finished med school and during her rotation, she interned at one of the big hospitals in toronto.  during her internship, she encountered an infant (probably a couple of months old), who came into the hospital because she would not eat or stop crying.  after the examination, the doctors found that her tiny ribs were broken and further examinations revealed that her arms and other bones were broken as well.  not only that, her esophagus was punctured.  my friend explained that for babies, their rib bones can only be broken by physical trauma/abuse.  also, the puncture seemed like it was made by a hard object, while forcing food down into the baby’s throat.  the doctors suspected physical abuse and they reported it to social services.

when i heard this story, it absolutely broke my heart and it literally made me sick.

i’m not a perfect parent or mom by any means and i’m in no place to judge.  there are times when i lose my patience and it feels like i can’t control my anger.  at those times, i have walked away from my crying daughter to calm myself down.  and a few times, i have gotten angry at her and have yelled ‘no!’, instead of talking to her gently and calmly.

parenting is difficult because your words and actions could affect and shape your child’s behaviour, habits, personality, character, values and many more.  raising a child has to be one of the biggest responsibilities that god has given us and although we, as parents can’t be perfect, i believe that we should try our best, not for anyone else, but in obedience to god.

having all these things in my mind, my husband and i have decided that i will not return to work and stay at home with my daughter until i receive my tesl certification and find a part time job teaching esl.  one of the reasons for my career change was so that i could be there for my daughter, as much as i can.

my previous career was within the purchasing industry.  i enjoyed being a purchaser and the type of work i did.  and for the past few weeks, i’ve been torn because i’ve been missing it.  i love being with my daughter, playing with her all day, but i began to miss the creativity and challenges that i faced while working as a purchaser.  don’t get me wrong.  working full time in the corporate world is not easy.  it has struggles of its own and now with a child, it would only be harder because i now would have to juggle work and parenting.

i also pondered about my pursuit in obtaining the tesl certification.  would i really enjoy teaching esl?  would i feel fulfilled or like it better than being a purchaser?  i do have experience in teaching and i did enjoy it and felt accomplished while teaching students, but i can’t say that it was the best experience i’ve ever had.

i finished (and passed) two of my tesl courses and i’m currently enrolled in my third and fourth courses.  if i give up now, it would be a waste.  however, if i don’t end up teaching or like teaching esl… then, it would even be a bigger waste.

so out of curiosity, i have looked at job boards to see what kind of opportunities were available in the purchasing industry.  as i searched and contemplated, a feeling of guilt settled in…  if i apply and get a job, i can no longer be there for my daughter for most of the day.  i would only see her for a few hours a day and on weekends.  would she feel neglected?  am i becoming my own mother, leaving my daughter to her grandmother?

and i thought about the sacrifice that i wrote earlier… is my career or the feeling of wanting to work, one of the sacrifices that i need to make in order to become the mom that i aspire to be?

i don’t have answers and have not made a decision yet.  i’m praying and praying, seeking god’s direction and wisdom.

all i can say at this point is that sacred parenting, more specifically, making decisions that honour god, your child and family are not easy.

while washing dishes this afternoon, i wondered how other moms make their decisions.  how about moms with 3 or more kids?  they not only have to consider one child, but two more.  how do they do what they do, day in and out?  being a mom has to be the most difficult and under appreciated job in the world.  for moms who have 3 or more kids, i honestly, from the deepest part of my heart, believe that they deserve some kind of reward, regardless of how they parent or how their kids turn out… a big, fat reward which consists of a month long holidays at one of the best spas in miami should be sufficient.